So I watched Stupid Hoe by Nicki Minaj. It doesn’t even deserve a facepalm. The unstoppable nosedive of music is horribly disheartening. It’s so horrible I even lost the willpower to write out a full length rant.
I shall now go back to trance techno. It deserves more popularity.
Why am I studying right now? Why am I hard at work creating my model and cataloging and preparing for my crit next week? Why do I worry myself so much about what to say during my Oral Communication class? Why do I work so hard? Why do I toil?
Why do I seek a relationship? Why do I seek a female companion? Why do I wish for a female companion? Why do I hope to procreate? Why do I bother? Why do I toil?
Why do I rush everywhere? Why is everything a rush? Why do I hurry so? Why do I hurry and chastise myself for not moving faster? Why do I flit quickly to a place and quickly rush back home? Why do I toil?
For even if I become the President of the USA, with a thousand soldiers at my command, a hundred ships at my call, ten nukes for my leisure, a world in my hands, I will still be unsatisfied. I will be no more satisfied than a poor farmer with a sick cow and half an acre of rotting potatoes.
For love is a powerful emotion, but it is not necessary. It is not a need. It requires great sacrifice(s). I don’t need to procreate, I don’t need a female.
For there are two men, one is walking, the other is jogging. The jogger gains his distance, but both meet when they are stopped by the traffic light.
Nothing has meaning. What is the point of everything? For when you fade, there is nothing left. Everything you strove for and everything you hoped for, it is simply gone when you die. No man has ever had true satisfaction. The greatest thing you can have is not money. It is not bitchez. It is not power. It is true satisfaction.
So you feel better when you believe in a cause greater than yourself, to fill that empty void, to silence that little nagging voice in your head that asks; Why? To occupy your time. To keep yourself busy so that you don’t have to hear it, because you know it’s true.
You devote yourself to your nation. For Queen and Country, you live and die to serve. You pick up arms and fight for the greatness of your nation. But you know fully well, Empires rise and fall.
You work hard to fill your stomach. But in the end, the bangla worker building the flat that blocks the air flow into your rooms sleep is sweeter than yours.
So what? What for? For nothing. I feel like just leaving sometimes. Leaving everything, but not forever. To find a place of peace. Find somewhere to just sit down, away from everything. To sit down and get myself fully aligned to God. Somewhere to retreat for a while.
For ultimately, there is no purpose, no reason. All things end in the same way. But I know God is the answer. For in Him there is reason, there is purpose, there is peace, there is the true way.
But God calls me to a difficult path I hardly understand. It is a path I struggle to follow, which I feel I have to walk by myself. I feel that God isn’t speaking, but I know it’s because I’m not listening. Why then do I not listen? I do not know.
For in my view, I can only work to benefit two things. Either God, or myself.
Then why do I toil to follow God? I do not know.
And if not for God, then why do I toil for myself? I do not know.
I don’t care about the Avengers because it’s gonna suck. It’s a movie that has to squeeze in years of story line into, what, two hours? Hour half?
Now, let there be rage.
I was tasked with collecting the attendance for an event. So I sent a mass message out to my peers with a very simple question.
“Those of you who are attending this Saturdays YE board games session, reply Aye to this message”
Sounds pretty simple no? All people had to do was reply Aye or reply No. But noooooo. People are extremely creative in coming up with new answers.
Presenting to you a few of the best/worst replies:
Aaron: “NACHO CHEESE”
Samantha: <blank> (yarly, a blank message, srsly)
Wayne: “who r u”
Crystal: “WHO ARE YOU??”
*response*: http://dailyfacepalm.chillpages.com/stroage-pit/uploads/2010/08/1272303749024.png
*update*
Out of the 27 people I texted, a mere 4 people said Aye.
http://i2.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/004/006/y-u-no-guy.jpg
Imagination is very powerful.
You should use it. Imagination leads you to worlds beyond, to worlds within worlds, where anything can happen, and by anything, I mean everything. Everything including a Mary Sue alternate version of yourself.
Thus, you ought to utilize it. Practice now.
Thanks for trying!
<because I’m lazy to update>
Prom. From what I heard, people are attending because they need to see their school mates one last time, before they enter a new chapter of their lives. But why? Why do you need to pay $80 just to see your ‘friends’? Why do you require an event in a swanky hotel to meet up? Don’t you care sooooo deeply about your ‘friends’?
If so, why didn’t you just ask them to go out somewhere? A movie? East Coast barbecue? Hell, the coffee shop downstairs is perfectly fine too.
Even so, why are you even saying goodbye? If the bond is so important to you, why sever it? Who said that you must leave all your school friends behind? If the relationship really mattered to you, you wouldn’t even say goodbye.
So why do you say goodbye? The answer is that you do not truly care. Attending prom is just a false pretense that you actually care deeply and wish to bade your ‘friends’ goodbye. If any of your ‘friends’ needed money, how far would you exert yourself to help? Hell, I wouldn’t give a shit if someone from my class needed money, and vice versa.
“Once a fairsian, always a fairsian”?
I do not believe you. I do not believe your nostalgic whining. All I see is the shallowness. All I can see is all the nonexistent cares you give to your peers.
I’m not a pessimist. I’m a realist.
I feel as though I have outgrown my friends. They were the perfect friends at one stage, but that stage has since passed. I tried going back, but it didn’t work. Conversations with them grew boring. Laughter was getting more forced. Newer inside jokes were created that I didn’t get because I wasn’t there. I was getting left behind. It was the price to pay for leaving the NA class. I predicted that it would happen. But I didn’t guess it would happen as quickly as it did.
Now, out of 13 friends I left behind, only one still cares. I don’t know what her reason is, but she still wants to continue being friends. But the truth is I am just as bored around her. Conversation never goes beyond anything trivial, or me getting called a moron. I don’t really know if it’s because we don’t hang out enough, or that she just likes talking about trivial things, or if it’s because I never seem to talk about much other than business (eg: What’s the time? What’s the next class?) related things.
All I’m saying is, I feel like I’m on a whole new frequency. I left behind a lot. But at the same time, I also gained a lot. A new group of friends. FAGs. We all vibrate on the same frequency. We all understand each other. At least to what I’ve felt. I suppose it’s all a part of beginning a new chapter. So I’m leaving behind all 12 of them, abandoning the 12 social bridges built up from scratch.
But what of the 13th bridge? I attempted to burn it, but it’s not working. I’ll say it outright, the 13th one attracts me. But it seems, it was never meant to be.
(hey it rhymed!)
